A phrase I remember my dad saying to me when I was little was,
“Heidi, do everything in moderation.”
What? Where is the fun in that?
When I was drinking, moderation didn’t get the job done. It was boring. I was all in or not at all. Rarely the “not at all” part. Ha ha. If two beers were good, five or six would be way more fun. More is better right?
Wrong—I didn’t have an “off” switch. There was no setting in my brain for less—just all or none. Once I was into the drinking, there was no thinking or reasoning beyond that—just more.
That is the addictive mind.
Can you relate? You might have questions like:
• How did you find the “off" switch?
• How did you not drink the first one?
• How did you have fun without alcohol?
I know you have more questions…but the simple answer to all of these in sobriety is that I had to retrain my brain to think and choose differently.
First, I could not do it alone. I had to surrender to help from God. Pray for strength. Then, be with others in meetings making the same journey. Seeing how others, like myself lived their lives sober and productive. Finding out there is hope for change, I want to serve others and give them hope too. When I stopped drinking just for this day, I found out that I could get through one day without alcohol. Then I tried it again the next day. A little weird at first, feeling vulnerable, helpless, shaky. The next day became a little easier.
Going through an experience the first time without alcohol and knowing it is possible to be with people and laugh and have fun, lets me know it can be done. Letting my body get used to functioning with out it, or more importantly, my brain getting used to it. My thoughts became clearer. Then my actions followed. Physical activity helped. Walking, exercise, getting out and connecting with others.
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, Dr. William Silkworth referred to alcoholism as “an allergy of the body and obsession of the mind.” —“one is too many, a thousand is never enough,” when referencing how the craving can take over.
Once we get past the physical withdrawal, we need to deal with the mind. Our thinking is still there…healthy responses to our thoughts need to be retrained. It is like exercise, not a “one and done” thing. A routine that needs to be repeated to retrain my brain. I find meetings really helpful to hear others share their process.
I don’t need the extremes to thrive. It is possible to live in the middle ground of peace. You don’t have to go it alone.
Surrender. Pray. Meet. Serve.
You can do this.
I know it is possible.
Come join us.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Romans 12:2
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