Stuff happens. That doesn’t make me a victim.
I have failed. That doesn’t make me a failure.
I have suffered loss. That doesn’t make me a loser.
We all have trials, but they don’t have to define us and be excuses to stay stuck... “This is why I am the way I am.” A victim mentality is characterized by blaming others, while a victor mentality is characterized by taking responsibility and working to find solutions:
Victim
• Blame others for what happens to them
• Complain and make excuses
Victor
• Take responsibility for my part and my attitudes
• Apologize and work to find a solution and reconciliation
Even though I don’t drink anymore, I say I am an alcoholic in recovery because it gives power to my recovery (the victory.) I can help others by identifying where I have come from, but it doesn’t have to continue to define me or keep me there.
I can claim my sobriety date as a defining moment when I step from victim—this happening to me—into victor—claiming God’s power over my obsession to drink and the thinking and behaviors that control it.
The victory lies in how we frame the circumstances and our thoughts. I can rearrange the old patterns of behaviors of reacting to the world around me. By pausing, seeing others as allies in this process of responsible living—I can be a victor by responding in a healthy way.
Choosing different behaviors, not old patterns. Only then will I begin to look at everything in a new way. It’s okay to ask for help from somebody close to you, and from God. Choose a different behavior. Watch the world change around you in response. A new adventure.
First step is to show up. Then, you can step into the light just by how you view yourself. Work the 12 Steps to review your life. You are a victor. Have an attitude of humility and gratitude.
I have more to learn.
Show up.
Step into the light.
Show the way for others.
“Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.” Lamentations 3:40
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