I’m Fine.
Really.
Well, that’s what I was hoping you would believe—what I was presenting on the outside that covered the real story buried deep inside. Much like the stories obsessively posted on Facebook and Instagram of the perfect life, not revealing the fear and insecurities going on behind the scenes. Social media posting being another form of addiction and obsession assuring ourselves that we are FINE and getting agreement about it with Likes.
One of my friends in my recovery meetings often says when she shares, “I’m from the FINE Family. Everything is fine. We don’t talk about anything, don’t feel, don’t share what’s really going on...”
F.I.N.E. — Fearful, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional
When I was deep in my disease of alcoholism, I was not dealing with what was real in my own mind, but drinking and blurring reality. Outside of my mind, I thought I was I expected to show YOU what was going on inside. The only thing I knew to do was pretend. Lie. Drink more. Put on a happy face. Present a rosy exterior so you believed I was okay—FINE.
Furthermore, who really expects a deep and real answer to the question we quite often greet each other with, “How are you?” “Fine. How are you?” Then we move on to surface conversation. Nobody really expects to hear, “Well, I’m not really okay. I’m a mess. I’m falling apart.”
That last answer is well-received in a recovery meeting. Whew, good thing!
I go there to hear people share their real stories of how unmanageable their lives were when they stumbled into the rooms of recovery. Then, we sit there in our meetings and slowly heal by hearing others like ourselves tell the unpolished version of their story and their life.
If I stay long enough, I get to watch transformation happen. The miracles. Slowly. One-day at-a-time. And, watch the process turn around from the unreal picture of FINE, to the grace-filled picture of FINE in sobriety—
F.I.N.E. — Free, Inspired, Nourished, and Empowered.
Free from the bondage of self and addiction, Inspired to participate in life again, Nourished by the fellowship and spirituality I see in my fellows that are healing too. And, Empowered to purpose again and to being of maximum service to God and to others.
We break the chains of secrecy by coming into the light of recovery.
A different kind of FINE in sobriety.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”
James 5:16
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