I took this photo from a bus window as we were driving down the streets of Lusaka, Zambia. The phrase that popped up in my head when I saw this was, “Cleaning up my side of the street.”
It is a phrase we use in the AA program. It involves cleaning up the path I am walking on after getting sober. Clearing the path of wreckage I created while drinking and using. This is usually associated with Step 9 and the amends process. Making amends to those I harmed while in my addiction. When we wake up to the fact that there was a wake of destruction that involved all those around us—not just ourselves—there was clean up to do.
The 4th step is about listing all the people we had resentments for and dealing with that. Then, keeping that list of people for later in step 9, where we get to make amends to some of those for whom we held resentments and had harmed. One of the biggest parts for me in the 4th step process of listing my resentments was asking, “what was MY part in this?” Such a big question.
Ownership and accountability.
Whoops, we have some clean up to do. That’s where the brooms come out. Clearing my path—what behaviors I can change and things I can do differently going forward. In this process, it is easy to play the blame game, “if they had not done this, I would not have done that.” This is victim mode and not accountability. That is where cleaning up my side of the street becomes really important.
Not your side of the street. Pointing the finger “over there”—playing the victim. I don’t have enough brooms to clean up my side and your side. And—it’s not my job. That’s between you and God. Someone said to me in a meeting, “Gods business, my business and none of my business.”—your side of the street, none of my business. I have to stay on my side of the street.
Own what I can and let go of the rest.
My part, that’s all I can control.
Clean up my side of the street.
“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”
James 5:16
To buy my books, click on the website menu bar at the top of this page.
