If I can share one thought or moment of clarity that would sum it all up, it would be the simple act of surrendering to God. In my first year of sobriety, I was amazed at the energy I had after putting down that bottle of alcohol (those bottles.) At first, I couldn’t put two sentences together. Then, my brain started to recover. I could think and I took up painting once again.
Early in sobriety I got myself to meetings and sat in the chair. Then I started talking to others and to my sponsor. Finally, little glimpses of creativity began to slip back into my mind and out of my paintbrush onto my watercolor paper. Whew. That was scary, thinking my talent was gone forever. Just the thought of never painting again made me crazy. I had always been able to draw and paint for as long as I can remember. Alcohol had blurred all things in my life. It had become a veil over everything. A fog.
When I finally surrendered to God, I realized how simple it was—let God take control. In that moment, it feels like you are ripping your clothes off and standing there naked and fully vulnerable. But, in fact, you are putting on a suit of armor and protection that can withstand almost anything that comes at you.
It becomes freedom. Freedom from carrying it all on your own. It’s the oddest thing. The opposite of what you think should and would happen. When I surrender, I gain access to the greatest power in the universe. God. Unstoppable. I had tried to stop drinking for over thirty years on my own.
In one simple move of surrender to God, my obsession was lifted. The veil over my life was gone. The fog had cleared just like that!
If I can do it, so can you.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9
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