I was practicing making bad choices over and over during my drinking days. Not only the drinking, but selfish decisions for myself based only on what I wanted or needed. The drinking was a symptom and coverup for my selfish thinking. When I got sober, I had to rethink my attitude and problem-solving methods. The way I responded to life in general. Like a child. Relearning (or learning for the first time) how to behave responsibly with others and in the world.
Recently, I got to travel to Colorado to see my niece and nephews and their children. What a blessing to be with them. While watching my niece discipline her youngest girl (almost 5), I got to witness her parenting style. So good. One of the things she said in a very calm voice, to her daughter after she’d just had some aggressive behavior toward her brother (him crying in the background), was this phrase,
“Maybe next time you could make a better choice.”
Wow.
I needed to hear that. This phrase is packed with meaning for us all:
It wasn’t punitive or accusatory. It was a helpful suggestion. Involving the child in the process of what just went on. It put what just happened squarely on her daughter’s shoulders without condemnation. It let her know the next behavior choice was on her. Accountability. Without a threat of punishment, her mind was freed up to look at what she had done and make the connection of how it affected others. It helped her own it and look at how her behavior had hurt someone else. Then make apologies.
This hit home for me. This last paragraph sounds like the recovery program and how the 12-step process begins to restore us after practicing our addictions and bad behaviors for so long—
Recovery begins the process of making better choices for our lives.
Today, I have 7,305 days of sobriety. That is 20 years. I choose to stay in today and still count the days because this day is all I have. I am sober today.
Over the days (and years) of my sobriety, I have learned new behaviors to respond to life in this recovery program. I prayed for God to remove the obsession of alcohol. He did. I became willing to learn new ways and do the work to maintain that. Then, I got a sponsor, who guided me through the 12-steps. I still attend 4 meetings a week. I began to turn my attitude and thinking outward toward helping others. I sponsor many other women how I was sponsored. I show up each day for God’s work and service to give away what was so freely given to me. I pray that you join us in recovery.
Through this process, I have learned new behaviors and I am now...
Making Better Choices.
Humbled and grateful for sobriety this day.
“Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths.” Psalm 25:4
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