How do I repay the debt of someone helping me when I needed it most?
Pay it forward.
Since getting sober, I have enjoyed the path of service to others like nothing else in life. When the fog of my drinking obsession was lifted by God 6,808 days ago, I learned that the best way out self was to help somebody else. I got a sponsor that helped me work the 12-steps of AA. As I transformed, I found that I could help others, too. This is the 12th Step, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs”
In fact, I might even say that I have found my purpose.
I have been blessed by God with the gift of artistic talent, which has served me well. It allowed me to enjoy a career in graphic design. I also enjoy sharing that artistic gift with others in painting dog portraits for people. The look on their faces when they see their dog come to life in a watercolor painting is such a gift of joy—the best payment of all. I always thought that was my purpose.
However, nothing gives me more satisfaction and feeling of joy and purpose than to help another person work through their problems. To help them in a way that gives them hope going forward. These are the rewards of sponsoring women through the 12 Steps of AA.
The most important thing I learned along the way was that I don’t have the answers. My job isn’t to give them answers. The job of a sponsor is to guide a person through the steps and listen. I may have opinions on what I hear, but those might not always be helpful. The main thing is to listen and to hold space for another to express their thoughts and to be heard.
I learned how to point the person back to themselves by asking key questions. My sponsor never gave me the answers. She listened and based on the facts she heard, she formed questions that challenged my current way of thinking. She asked me to look inside to find the answers. When I didn’t know, to ask God to guide me to the truth.
Only then, in my review of what came up, did I arrive at a clear perception of truth. I could either keep thinking that way and stay stuck, or course-correct. I could try a different thought and put in place other behaviors that supported the new way of thinking. In experiencing this method, I found that I could help others too.
Pay it forward.
Magic, for you and for me. In being the mirror for others, I get to help them grow and receive that benefit for myself as well. This has given me great joy. To be sponsored through the 12-Step process. And, then turn around and sponsor others through the same process.
This is where recovery, transformation and restoration happen.
Joy and purpose.
I am grateful.
“The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Matthew 20:28
Click on my books below to buy.
