A fellow friend and alcoholic died of this disease—overdosing on alcohol.
One day, after her death, I read her obituary in the paper. She might have been one of the most extreme cases of denial I have ever encountered. She never did get this simple program of recovery. My heart broke for her many times. Once she arrived to a meeting in two different flip-flops—one of her husband’s on one foot and one of hers on the other. I offered to drive her home because she was unable to drive. She belligerently refused and survived one more drunk drive across town only to die alone in her bed from too much alcohol soon after.
Even her obituary screamed denial as it described her "beautiful" life with a husband she had long-since divorced, telling of her standing in the community, how successful she had been and how many people respected her—describing her life of 20 years ago. No mention of her current husband. No mention of her struggle. No mention of the disease that was trying to kill her—and eventually did. Nothing of the last six years of complete isolation, constant drinking with her current husband of four years, two rehabs and many hospitalizations, a year in county jail—coming to meetings only when she was so desperate she didn't know what else to do, looking for the magic bullet.
Such a sad obit. And such a description of this disease and lives of the people we touch in our disease. We drag them into our denial and have them believing our story—our intricate lies weaving together to make up the wrong story.
The lies keep the disease in place.
The truth brings us into the light and frees us.
How do we get to the truth?
1.) We begin weaving the truths together one-day-at-a-time to make up the “right” story. The one God meant for us all along—His plan that we derailed by looking away from Him and putting the focus back on US to write the wrong narrative for our lives.
2.) We don’t drink. We show up sober. We tell the truth. We connect to others. We trust God for the outcome. Simple program, but not easy.
3.) We give up control of our own plans and turn it over to the One who has all power—GOD.
May you find him now.
“He must become greater; I must become less.” John 3:30
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