MEMORIES.
Lately, I have been obsessed with memories—stories from the past. Remembering funny things that happened in my family over which we all shared laughter. Joy. Sadness. Births. Deaths. Victories. Landmark life events.
What are memories? Past experiences remembered.
This time of year, we always review the previous year and then, look forward. This can be an agonizing process for some, as we may be leaving loved ones behind. Those we traveled to visit during the holidays and now have to go back home without. Precious family members long passed (or recently passed) that we miss. Loss of relationship. Loss of job or income. The future sometimes looks bleak without others or those shared memories. Looking back is not always pleasurable. It just is. We add the emotion to it. We get to choose to stay stuck there, or to acknowledge it and then move forward. The good news is that we get to take the memories with us.
Consider these sentences from “The Promises” that we read in our meetings, “We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.”
I find it fascinating that someone in my family can say just one word and I can giggle. It brings to mind an image that both of us remember and can share together. Connection. Community. I can bring up that memory all by myself, but talking about it and sharing it with somebody else, brings the other person’s perspective and emotions into it and gives the memory more meaning.
This concept is what meetings are all about for me. To hear somebody else’s story and identify with it in some way, gives my life more meaning. Validating our shared experience and giving us connection and hope. Reassurance that we are not alone. Connection going forward. Hopefully, not repeating those events that didn’t serve us, but that we can make new positive memories together. Hopeful. Giving us the ability to show up for others and be of service—together. Not wallowing in past mistakes nor staying stuck in being a victim. Choosing to walk forward into new territory. Trusting God for the outcome.
My sobriety is relational. I need relationship with God and with others. I need others with common stories around me. Not to pull each other into each others’ miserable past, but to pull each other out from the depths to create new sober memories together. When we share our victories, others get to be a part of our sobriety. Our new stories.
My resolutions for 2022 are these:
To stay in today, go to meetings, pray for others, reach out and give another person hope that they can stay sober today and show up for others too.
Fresh ground. Together. Possibility. Hope.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 15:13
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