Recovery is for people who want it.
Not for people who need it.
When I finally chose sobriety for myself, I wanted that for everyone else. The relief that said—I don’t have to carry this by myself anymore.
While sponsoring other women, my sponsor always tells me, “Heidi, they have to want their sobriety more than you want it for them.”
I can’t force them to get there. I remember being so disappointed when someone I was sponsoring relapsed yet again. I took it personally, like there was something I could have done or said to change that outcome. My sponsor said to me, “Heidi, you are not that powerful”
Oh, yeah. I am not God.
Here is what I CAN do: I can pray for them. Ask them if they want to get sober. Stand ready to help. Listen when they reach out. Take them to a meeting to get connected with others.
I am reminded of the story in the Bible (John 5:5-8), where a man who has been an invalid for thirty-eight years comes to the healing pool. He never makes it into the pool to get healed in all of that time—hmmm.
Jesus comes over to him and says, “Do you want to get well?”
The invalid says, “Sir, I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”
I never looked at the scripture in this way before.—The man’s reply is an excuse! Boy, did I have excuses why I could not get sober for many years!
Jesus tells him to “Pick up your mat and walk.”
We have to pick up our own mat and walk out this life.
We have to want to get well.
Do you want to get well?
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”
Galatians 6:2
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