I found this photo yesterday. My husband and I were ziplining in Maui a few years ago. While it was exhilarating and freeing, it took a measure of trust and surrender to do that. To me, this is a picture of what sobriety looks like.
Surrender, trust and community—we don’t do sobriety alone.
Fear. Shame of admitting there’s a problem. Not knowing if I could do this life without alcohol. Out of my control. I am alone in this—all those thoughts were not true. But, how would I know that, if I didn’t take that first step of surrender?
Admitting there is a problem is the first step. I think of surrendering to God as grabbing hold of that invisible help line He throws out every day if I can only get outside my own head and see it. Surrendering to God’s will and not my own. My way was not working, so what did I have to lose? The moment I did that, I felt overwhelming freedom zipping forward—power to keep going.
I remember the exciting feeling of flying down that line and looking over to see my husband right there doing the same thing. I was not alone. The trust that I would be ok and have a safe landing felt better when I was doing it with another person who was trusting too.
That’s what meetings are like for me. The courage it took to walk through those doors the first time was huge. Once I did that, sat down and looked around—I felt the welcoming smiles of others like myself. I could do it again the next time. Just a little easier. Baby steps.
Listening to others tell their stories in meetings is like hearing God talk directly to me. People tell me they hear God’s voice. I hear Him talk through the stories of others in meetings. I am not alone. I get to see others like me who were walking through tough things. Not drinking or using but continuing to show up and speak each day, just for today. Sharing their experience, strength and hope. At first, it was all I could do to sit there and listen. Then do it again tomorrow. I learned that if they could do it, I could it too. Not ever drinking again was too much to think about.
Join me just for today.
Try it.
You are not alone.
“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.”
Psalm 34:4
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