I have never been one to make resolutions for the New Year. Mostly, because I never keep them.
I looked up the word.
Merriam-Webster definition of Resolute: Marked by firm determination: resolved
Synonyms: bent (on or upon), bound, decisive, determined, do-or-die, firm, hell-bent (on or upon), intent, out, purposeful, resolved, set, single-minded
Antonyms: faltering, hesitant, indecisive, irresolute, undetermined, unresolved, vacillating, wavering, weak-kneed
Wow. Look at the Antonyms—opposite of the word, resolute. This is what my active drinking days were like.
Until—I was broken and at my bottom, where I became determined. Resolved that I was powerless and could not control my drinking. My life had become unmanageable in my drunken state. When I was humbled to ask God for help, then let Him help me, admitted I had a problem. I became resolute— (all the synonyms)
Just for TODAY.
In talking with my husband the other day, I told him that I was going to work the same 12-steps that I have worked around my alcoholism, around some other issues. He asked me “What issues?”
I told him that I was going to try and be less judgemental of others and work on focusing on owning how I can do things better in my own life, as an example for others, ending up in service. Sounds good, doesn’t it?
Problem is, Five minutes later I was complaining and judging a neighbor for bad behavior and going on and on...I realized it while in mid-blathering. I turned to my husband and said, “How am I doing so far?” We both giggled at the realization.
The good news is that by working the 12-steps on my alcoholism, I am able to apply these principles in all of my affairs. In this case, I caught myself doing what it was I was just resolute not to do. I hadn’t even made it to the New Year!
The other good news is that I get to start again. And, again. Every day. Just like my one-day-at-a-time sobriety. Today I will not be judgemental. Then tomorrow, I will decide again. Forgiving others and myself for bad behavior is not on the “to-do list” — it’s already “To-done.”
Finished. Over. Start again.
Won’t you join me just for today?
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Ephesians 4:22-24
Click on my books below to buy.
