Not always.
A friend just emailed me a recap of his holiday events. I was exhausted reading it. I feel like I finally have an understanding of why I don’t enjoy holiday events that much. I know. I sound like a scrooge.
Let me be clear—I absolutely love the true meaning and focus of Christmas—period.
AND, I’m not thrilled with all of the celebratory events and craziness that the holidays have evolved into—shopping, buying presents, cooking, eating, cooking eating, (yes, I meant to put that twice, and almost wrote it again, but restrained myself), candy, cookies, drinking, parties and more parties, family and more family, (everyone’s “unique quirks” are not a delight—ha ha—as my friend said!) Loud talking and merriment but no understanding or learning anything, events back to back with no rest, performances, celebrations, eating and more eating, decorating and rearranging your house for a month, then putting it all back and the clean up, endless clean up—
Overwhelm.
As my friend said, “Each thing taken in isolation is no big deal. I just kept feeling overwhelmed by the non-stop activity.”
The “more is better” theme was one I loved while drinking, meaning, I could just keep going on this buzz, you know? MORE always got me in trouble on every level, though. I found that my drinking helped me cope with the chaos. Or better yet, check out from it. The constant input on a nonstop level at Christmastime, could send me over the edge and my solution was to drink to calm down and deal with it all—or not. Mostly not. Dealing with it meant checking out. This season can be a huge trigger for those in early sobriety. Hard to be sober and present amid the chaos.
I find now, in sobriety, that taking care of myself, needs careful planning on my part. To not over-plan and to try and pick and choose the events that I want to attend. Keeping my sanity and sobriety depend on those choices. In doing this, I can actually enjoy the event I chose and be present for the takeaway. Not just tick it off my list of what I “committed to” because I “should have.”
My friend said this, “I have come to the conclusion that I don’t really enjoy family gatherings or crowds in general.”
If you think about it, our sobriety meetings would be the same way if we allowed cross talk, right? We’d all be chattering and nobody would be listening or actually hearing anything. That’s how family gatherings are for me. Everybody talking at once and not saying anything. Don’t get me wrong—I love my family—and, the chaos and over-stimulating input can be overwhelming. I much prefer one-on-one sharing or visiting. I walk away from those smaller visits feeling like I have made a difference, unlike the “being with everyone and finding out nothing” group experience. That’s why meetings are so unique. We actually hear each other and learn something.
I used to scoff when my father talked about “doing everything in moderation” because it sounded so boring. Thank you, Dad, for the revelation and reminder that is now my mantra.
Now, I crave my routine and quiet life. Less is better—has become my peace-making thought.
Try it.
It could maintain your sanity.
And, just might keep you sober for today.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Romans 12:2
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