How do we really know the difference between God’s will for us and our own will?
I have struggled with this thought for most of my life. While asking God to show me His will, I am not always clear that the decisions I make are the direction I should be going. I can even justify all that I decide to do as God’s will by righteously deciding on my own that this is the “right” way to go in my own mind. Even justifying the “so-called” signs I see that I think are leading me—my own interpretation or perception.
While in my active drinking days, I just forged ahead in my own will not always getting great results. Actually, most of the time, not—ha ha. I wanted God to help me stop drinking, but didn’t actually want to stop drinking. I just wanted His help to manage my life while I kept drinking. Mostly, because I could not imagine living a life without alcohol. Ego. So self-centered. So me. Always what I wanted, not what I needed.
Not until I completely surrendered my own will, did God reveal to me how this works.
Then it was quite obvious. It is the peace that comes after that surrender for me.
Remember the “Highlights” magazines in the dentist’s office when you were a kid, where the center spread was a drawing with all kinds of hidden animals in the scene. I loved finding the hidden creatures. I was excited and at peace all at the same time when I had solved the puzzle. Once I found the squirrel in the tree, I couldn’t unsee the squirrel. The light was on and there it was. That’s what it’s like for me.
In my surrender, It becomes obvious what I should do next. I can not not do what I am supposed to do. I just have to do it and not resist. To be available and show up, not knowing what the outcome will be. The not knowing part is the hard part. That is God’s part.
Now, my decisions going forward are based on getting my own self-interests moved aside—basically, getting out of my own way and how I want it to be. Letting go. That is my part in it, or my will. It took my will to let go. That was when I was able to get any power back and have peace. The key part of this is the peace part. I had no peace doing things totally on my own power until I aligned my will with God’s. Sometimes, I don’t even know what that is. I just know I can’t control it or manipulate the details. I get to do what I can and then trust. I still have God’s gift of free will—to choose His will or mine.
When I let go and trust that God can handle my feelings, fears, and doubts—then, and only then, can the awesome miracles start to unfold right before my very eyes. I start my day, every day, with the Third Step Prayer, which helps me so much. My favorite line “Relieve me of the bondage of self”—get me out of your way, God—actually brings physical calm when I say it.
No God, No Peace.
Know God, Know Peace.
Try praying this prayer below and then going about your day. Notice how your day goes.
God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy will always! Amen
Third Step Prayer
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