I heard a woman share in her story the other day that coming into a meeting for the first time was like, “They were throwing a surprise party just for me.”
Surprise! You’re an alcoholic!
Sometimes we are the last to know. We knew there was something wrong in our lives, but it couldn’t be the alcohol, right? Everybody does it. Just because I drink now and then, doesn’t make me an alcoholic. Now and then. That seemed to be the problem. The justification of now and then covered all of time for me. This was denial.
Plausible deniability: The idea that you can safely deny guilt or lie because no one can prove you did it.
We can be sneaky with ourselves and others. Denial is a good thing sometimes, but living in it keeps us stuck in place without possibility, of moving into health, growth or joy. Rinse and repeat. We keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Insanity.
So, when some consequence happens and takes us into a place where we get the baseball bat to the head, we actually see that what we are doing is not working anymore. That’s when we can start to poke holes in the top of the box we’ve put ourselves in. The light starts to shine through tiny holes and we can finally see how the alcohol might be a problem.
When we put down the drink. Ask for help. Come to meetings. Sit and listen to others’ stories that are remarkably like our own—that’s when the surprise party begins for us.
Yes, we are holding a place for you. There’s more of us that you realize. We are all here waiting to cheer you on to living in the truth and seeing that sobriety can be the surprise gift you were always wanting.
DENIAL: refusing to admit the truth or reality of something unpleasant.
TRUTH: the body of real things, events, and facts—sincerity in action, character, and utterance.
I have said so many times that I didn’t even want to BE and alcoholic, let alone a grateful one. Now, I am thrilled to admit that fact. I am a grateful alcoholic. In admitting it, I clear away all of the justification for bad behavior, break the silence that keeps my addiction in place, and I have a chance at seeing the truth—meeting it head on. And, the best part...
Surprise! I get to show up and help somebody like myself.
What a gift.
To them and to me.
You can do it too.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
John 8:32
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