Yes, that’s when it all spiraled down to the bottom—when I switched from many (many) beers in a row, to gin—straight up. Hidden everywhere and then hidden in plain sight. In my water bottle with me wherever I was. Around the clock. All the time. Straight up.
I knew I had to stop, or while driving I would kill myself or somebody else. But at that point, I could not stop. My body wouldn’t let me. So I continued a while longer.
I woke up from a blackout at 3:30 pm sitting on the futon in my office looking down at the faces of my two dogs staring at me. Had I fed them? Had they been out today? Had I driven? What had I done?
Panic.
I HAD to be finished. At that very moment I knew I was finished drinking.
That’s when I looked straight up and uttered the words,
“Help me, God.”
And He did. The very moment I surrendered, He lifted my obsession.
I haven’t had a drink since that day in July 2004—one day at a time. My husband has crafted a little number for each of my days of sobriety starting with day one. I carry it in my pocket like a jewel. Every day.
Now I have my life straight up!
Surrender is simple, but not easy. If I can do it so can you.
“...I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full.”
John 10:10b
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