Denial—not just a river in Egypt.
A friend and fellow alcoholic died of this disease—overdosing on alcohol.
Shortly after she died, I read her obituary in the paper. She might have been one of the most extreme cases of denial I have ever encountered. She never did get this simple program of recovery. My heart broke for her many times.
Once, she arrived at a meeting wearing two different flip-flops—one of her husband’s on one foot and one of hers on the other. I offered to drive her home because she was clearly unable to drive. She refused and survived one more drunk drive across town only to die alone in her bed from an overdose soon after.
Even her obituary screamed of denial as it described her “beautiful” life with a husband she had long since divorced. It told of her standing in the community, how successful she had been and how many people respected her—describing her life of twenty years ago.
No mention of her current husband. No mention of her struggle with alcohol. No mention of the disease that was trying to kill her—and eventually did. Nothing of the last six years of complete isolation, constant drinking with her husband of four years, two rehabs and many hospitalizations, even a year in county jail—coming to meetings only when she was so desperate she didn’t know what else to do, looking for the magic bullet.
Such a sad obituary—and such a description of this disease and the lives of the people we touch in our spiritual malady. We drag them into our denial and hook them into believing our story—our intricate lies woven together.
The lies keep the disease in place.
The truth brings us into the light and frees us.
How do we get to the truth?
1. We begin by weaving the truths together one day at a time to make up the right story. The one God meant for us all along—His plan that was derailed by looking away from Him and putting the focus back on us to write the wrong narrative for our lives.
2. We don’t drink. We show up sober. We tell the truth. We connect with others. We trust God for the outcome. Simple program, but not easy.
3. We give up control of our own plans and turn it over to the One who has all power—GOD.
May you find him now.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
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